The great advances are endorsed by optimists. The happiest people are the most positive people. Therefore, it is important, or rather, indispensable, generate in our children from an early age an optimistic and fighting spirit that leads them to believe in dreams, to get excited about things and to downplay the small 'calamities' or small obstacles that a pessimist sees as insurmountable mountains.
Above all, we must teach children to reject negative thoughts. Yes, those thoughts that trap you in the black hole of fatalism and lead you headlong to failure. That 'I'm not going to get it', 'it's too difficult' 'it's impossible' ... We offer you ... 3 steps to teach to stop negative thoughts in children. Take note!
Why do we tend to think when missing a bus at the last minute that the day started in a very bad way? Why not think that nothing can go wrong? Thought can take two directions at any time: one positive and one negative. But the first step, the decision of which way to go, is ours alone. Why don't we teach our children from an early age to take the path of positive encouragement? It is proven (and no studies are needed for this) that a positive attitude towards life opens doors and offers you opportunities at every moment, while the path of pessimism locks you up and makes you suffer.
Do you know how to help your child stop negative thoughts and generate positive thoughts in them? Follow these 3 steps:
1. Recognize the most frequent 'holes' in thinking. Thought holes are negative thoughts, those that distort reality. For example, if your child always receives the marks he tends to say 'I only got a 6'.
2. Try to collect information that went unnoticed in the first time. Ask your child every time he talks about his grade with pessimism to think about how many children fail to reach that grade, how hard they have worked and all the time spent studying. Ask him to think about the number of times the teacher said 'great!'
3. Challenge negative thinking with an internal debate. Now all that remains is for your child to realize that a 6, after all, is not a bad grade, but rather a good grade that will mark a new challenge to overcome. To do this, he must convince himself by telling himself, and loudly, that a 6 is not bad at all and that in the next exam he will surely get more.
Do you know what many psychologists call negative thoughts? Holes Yes, holes. They are thoughts that we generate based on 'assumptions', never on a reality. It is like a distortion of reality. Un ... 'I think it could mean that ...'. In the long run, these holes cause us anguish, fear, loss of confidence in ourselves and in others ... They are not good, you see?
The culprit for generating these holes is the way we perceive reality. Faced with the hundreds of stimuli that we have around, we are left with the negatives versus the positives. How? Through these 'shortcuts' of thinking with which we make the mistake of distorting reality:
- Negative filtering. Of everything that happens to us throughout the day, we pay more attention to the negative in front of all the good things that happen to us.
- When we rely on assumptions. Before we go into the pros and cons, we skip this step directly and make 'assumptions' based only on our intuition or past experiences.
- Amplify the negative facts.This is very typical of those who tend to 'maximize' negative stimuli. 'Oh ... I only got a 7 in math ... what a mess!' What a disaster? ... You got a lot higher than average!
- Minimize the positive aspects. When good, pleasant things happen, but are not valued enough.
- Based on negative emotions. Sometimes a negative emotion, of fear, sadness, leads us to generalize and transform a fact into a 'negative' because from the outset we feel bad.
The goal is not to let any of these holes affect our children. Let's teach them from a young age to fill them in, and not with positive thoughts, but with precise thoughts.
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