Bulliyng or bullying is a nightmare for children and parents who suffer from it and in most cases the parents do not know very well how to act. It is a situation that generates a lot of stress, anguish, anxiety, feelings of guilt ...
Intervention in a bullying case is delicate and involves both the bullied child and his family as well as the school as well as the bully and his parents. But, Is it advisable to change the child's school in the event of bullying?
Although there are protocols for detection and intervention in bullying, the reality is that it is a very complicated issue. On many occasions, bullying episodes are dismissed as "children's things", or situations that "have always existed in schools" or the victim is blamed "for not knowing how to defend themselves".
Before changing the child's school, we must take into account these tips:
- It should be the educational center you go to that will take certain measures to avoid cases of bullying, to become a space in which violence was outside the center and classrooms, that these situations were not justified under any circumstances, that worked with bullies and their families and educated respect for all, in the appropriate resolution of conflicts and zero violence.
- But on many occasions, and given the impotence they suffer in these cases, parents consider changing the child from school, so that this situation ends and the child can start from scratch, but it is not always the best solution, and in fact, it should be the last option made. The change of school should be the solution in very serious and specific cases and provided that the rest of the measures are not effective (or are not taken).
- Changing the child's school and thinking that that will end everything, if other measures are not taken, they do not guarantee that the bullying will end. The child may feel that change as a punishmentTo think that the fault is his, that the problem lies with him and we also run the risk of transmitting the message that problems are solved "by running away from them." In other words, we "blame" the victim, aggravating the problem.
- When a child suffers bullying, there are problems with self-esteem, self-confidence, relationship difficulties, etc ... that do not disappear with a change of school, they are there, like a backpack that the child carries on his back and conditions adaptation to a new center. As much as we adults see it as a new opportunity to make friends and start from scratch, the child is conditioned and afraid that it might happen again.
In cases of bullying it is essential protect the victim and do personal work with the child, (in addition to other measures) Teach him skills and give him personal and emotional tools to deal with these situations, and especially their consequences, avoiding attributing the cause of harassment to the child's personal characteristics, (he is immature, does not defend himself, is shy, etc ...).
The problem with bullying is that when parents or adults become aware of the situation, the child has been suffering it for a long time. Children usually do not tell it immediately, out of fear, because they feel guilty, because they have learned that "things are like that" and they cannot change them. So in the event that we suspect that our child suffers from bullying we must act and take a series of measures to prevent this from happening, such as informing the center, in writing so that the fact is recorded, and demanding that measures be taken, (protocols against bullying, sanctions, etc.)
And in extreme cases in which the problem persists and the center does not take effective measures, measures such as stopping taking the child to class, changing schools, and / or formally reporting the center may be necessary.
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